Hey there, Reader
Last week we started talking about your Core Erotic Theme and how it informs your most powerful turn ons and peak experiences!
Understanding your Core Erotic Theme can make your sex life better AND your life outside of the bedroom better in some core foundational ways, such as:
self-acceptance and reduced shame,
better relationship communication,
recognizing why certain romantic dynamics particularly attract you,
provide insights about your emotional needs,
make your relationships more fulfilling and less frustrating!
Your Core Erotic Theme (CET) is core in that it sits at the heart of your individual eroticism. It is thematic in that the different story lines of relationships that you've experienced and the fantasies that turn you on have been inspired by an underlying theme. The script of the actual experience or fantasy might be different, but the themes are the same.
Another thing to note is that your unique CET usually rests on one or more of the Four Cornerstones of Eroticism! And having a broad understanding of these sheds A LOT of light on what your theme is.
The Four Cornerstones Are:
Longing and Anticipation: This cornerstone emphasizes how desire intensifies when there's distance or obstacles between us and what we want. The build-up and waiting period can often be more exciting than the actual attainment.
Violating Prohibitions: This involves the natural human tendency to be drawn to what's forbidden or taboo. The tension between what's allowed and what's restricted creates a heightened sense of excitement.
Searching for Hidden Power: This cornerstone explores how power dynamics influence attraction and desire. It includes both the desire to discover one's own power and to experience the power of others. Can be BDSM but could be other subtler forms of power play.
Overcoming Ambivalence: This refers to the erotic tension created when we have mixed feelings or uncertainty. The internal conflict between wanting and not wanting something can actually heighten its erotic charge.
So with all this in mind, reflect on the collection of peak experiences, images, fantasies and real life encounters that have been peak turn ons for you.
Let your mind wander back to the earliest fantasies you had, and your most recent encounter...
What do you notice?
Are there patterns or themes that these experiences have in common?
By taking some time to explore your experiences and fantasies, you can begin to discern the patterns and discover the secrets of your true eroticism.
Is your head swimming with long forgotten memories and titillating fantasies? I certainly hope so...
Because remember, getting to know your erotic self helps you better articulate your needs and desires to partners, leading to more fulfilling intimate connections.
And awareness of your the themes that turns you on helps you understand why certain situations or dynamics particularly attract you, giving you more agency in your choices and relationships, and so much more.
So, take some time to journal and let these ideas percolate. By giving space, curiosity and acceptance to your eroticism, it will begin to reveal its secrets to you...
If this is something you want to talk about and explore deeper, I'd love to chat more with you!
Feel free to book a free call with me using the link below. π
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