Hey there, Reader
Happy New Year! January has a particular energy.
It can feel demanding and slightly aggressive... like:
This is the year you finally fix everything.
Suddenly we’re supposed to wake up earlier, want better things, be more disciplined, be more evolved, have clearer goals, cleaner habits, hotter sex, calmer nervous systems… all by January 3rd.
This definitely stacks up to wreak havoc on your nervous system.
No wonder so many of us feel behind before the year has even started.
Here’s what I want to offer you instead:
Before you try to overhaul your life, pause long enough to notice what’s already good. Before you set new goals, let your body register where you already won.
That’s not complacency. That’s grounding.
And grounding is what allows pleasure, desire, and aliveness to actually grow.
A quick reframe for the new year...
Your nervous system doesn’t respond well to being told it’s not enough.
But it does soften when it feels acknowledged.
So instead of asking: “What needs to change this year?”
Try starting with:
Where did I show up for myself last year?
What did I survive that I shouldn’t minimize?
What already feels nourishing, supportive, or quietly satisfying?
Let those answers land. Not as a mental list, but as a felt sense in your body.
That felt sense is the foundation for everything that comes next.
This week’s pleasure practice (5 minutes, no fixing required)
Think of this as a reconnection to your body, not a self-improvement exercise.
- Sit or lie somewhere comfortable. Place one hand on your chest, one on your lower belly.
- Take three slower-than-normal exhales. Long exhales tell your nervous system: we’re safe enough to be here.
- Gently ask yourself: “What felt good last year — even a little?”
Don’t hunt for big wins. Let something small count.
- When you find one, notice where your body responds. Warmth. Softening. A breath that drops lower. Even relief.
Stay with that sensation for 30–60 seconds.
That’s it.
No affirmations. No visualization. No pressure to feel grateful or turned on or inspired.
Just letting pleasure, even if it's subtle, really land in your body and nervous system.
This is how you rebuild trust with your body.
Two simple nervous system tools to support you this month:
💐Orienting: Once a day, name (out loud or silently) 3 things you can see that are pleasant or neutral. This tells your nervous system: I’m here, and I’m not in danger.
😌Unclenching: Notice where you habitually grip — jaw, shoulders, pelvic floor. On your next exhale, soften by 5%. You don’t need to let go completely to feel relief.
Small shifts can do wonders.
A rebellious truth to carry with you:
You don’t need to become a different woman this year.
You can become more at home in the woman you already are.
Pleasure isn’t something you earn after you get your life together. It’s a relationship you build — slowly, honestly, and without forcing.
This week, let noticing what’s already good be enough.
I’m really glad you’re here.
